when i was cool

in 1988, i was on vacation with my parents somewhere (no idea where, sorry!) and we happened into a mall and then happened into a bookstore and i happened to buy...a book compiled by the rev. ivan stang from the church of the subgenius called high weirdness by mail. i had no idea who ivan stang was or had never heard of the church of the subgenius but the book, all about mail art and weird shit and how to get it into your mail box looked intriguing to me.

so, i bought it, i devoured it, i sent lots of monies to people and got a few things in return. this action also turned me onto factsheet five, which at the time was run by mike gunderloy.

let me add to this that this whole sequence of events was completely mind-blowing to me. i had no idea that this kind of world existed to this extent. i had no idea that i could even be a part of it. but something about these people creating anything and making it accesible to the world at large mostly for some stamps or a few bucks was...revelatory to say the least. i grew up on comics and it was around that time (a few years earlier, even) that i really started to get into the self-published movement. essentially tossing aside my superhero youth (which i've since rediscovered somewhat just so you don't think i'm a snob) for the dark and dangerous world of underground press.

this got me thinking: maybe i could do something like this! send it off to factsheet five and see what happens!

so i did. and i guess seeing that you could mix art with good ol' punk rock enthusiasm (that is: ranting about shit you're too young to know about) got me motivated to explore my inner-artist. i have no idea what my outer-artist was. i knew that i was never going to draw "real" comics. didn't have the chops to be a jack kirby or a wally wood. which is what made the whole underground comics thing so appealing to me. yeah, i was born in the 70s, so i missed the real underground movement, but i was also smack-dab in the center of the black & white boom of the 80s.

anyway, the first zine i did was called social vomit. give me a break, i was 16! the next was brain cancer, and then byoki. my friend will's dad was a lawyer, so we used to sneak into his office on the weekends and use up all his toner in his copier. i have to say that under no uncertain terms if it wasn't for will's help (i'm pretty sure i badgered him though) i would never have been able to get any of it started. i mean, i had no job and no money. too early for the kinkos hook-up days. it would have never happened.

i sent these horribly misguided things to factsheet five and...holy cow, started getting good reviews. i was astounded. and happy. because as anyone who knows me (or reads this blog) i need constant ego-stroking. i also sent them to other people as trade and met some really, really great folks. even to real comic artists i admired and got some nice responses. sent a few to some small-publishers and got nothing but rejection letters (and rightly so, let me add) but, eh, my ego wasn't nearly as fragile then. i had rejection letters from some of the finest independent comic publishers in this country, my friend. now that's something to be proud of.

i did this stuff off and on for a few years, maybe about 5, i think. and then...i don't know what happened. lost my drive i guess. put it all away for a long time. did one zine (using my kinkos hook-up) somewhere in the mid-90s and then pretty much just stopped making art. it got harder to do them, and i just think i felt like there wasn't really a movement to attach myself to. but, most likely, i did it to myself. i lost contact with will, and i think he probably got sick of helping me anyway. i don't blame him. i never offered him anything in return.

that review up there is from the zine book that gunderloy put together in 92. i remember hearing about it, but had never seen it. a friend of mine just gave me the book last week and it brought back weird memories. mostly how awful those things were, and also how i used to be productive. i don't have any of those zines anymore. haven't seen them since they were printed and i threw out all the original art years and years ago. i've recently been talking to will again, and he has them. we went out to lunch and he brought out the stack and i refused to look at them. i mean, i'm glad he kept them and i meant no disrespect, but it kind of freaks me out. i have no idea why, but i am immensely proud of what i did, and yet totally and utterly fucking embarassed at the same time.

so that's my story. about how i used to be cool. just like it says up there in the heading.

one of these days i'm going to finish the drawing i'm working on and post it up here. one of these days...

bad houses

another one of those things i abandoned and then went back to. well, i don't know if i really abandoned it. implies that i never intended on finishing it. i think i had every intention of finishing it, just wasn't sure when. as it turns out, it was a couple of weeks later.

i throw out more things than i finish. this obviously cuts into my productivity. although, i think i'm trying a new angle. which is the "set it aside and go back to it later" angle. but, sometimes you know that there's no saving something. just not sure how much time i feel like devoting to a piece that i have to force myself to finish.

maybe it would help if i drew smaller? funny thing is, i used to draw pretty small. like, small-small. now i just want them to be bigger. i'm averaging 11 x 14 now. but i like the idea of doing something wall size. so if anyone wants me to do a wall, let me know!

skulded

lil' thing i whipped up while not sleeping for ryan august's i want your skull zine. that is, if he uses it. and he may not. but i drew it anyway.

it's all about skulls. because that's what art should be about. just skulls. timeless.

now that i'm looking at the drawing, it totally reminds me of spy vs. spy. which i think is weird. i used to love spy vs. spy. i remember buying a big ol' collection of the original strips when i was very young and jusy loving the hell out of it. i don't have the book anymore, sadly. i wonder if it's still in print? i think i need to get it again.

green tea + kiwi

okay, i guess i finished the painting. this was the sort of the thing that i was supposed to kick out pretty quickly, like the first painting i did, but for some reason it took me 3 months to do. essentially it's one big 18 x 24 doodle, i know, but that's how i do things.

long, long socks

more mix cd covers. figured i'd post the second one in it's entirety before i cut it in half.

also did some pottery thing, painted a mug. you know, just for kicks. it's pretty basic. but it also makes me want to do something else. the place i did it at also has these kick ass skulls. so...i'm totally going to do a skull.

spent some time in new york this past week. i love it there. and that's probably why we're moving there next year.

thinking about maybe working on the big ass painting i've been hammering on for the last few months. it's almost finished, but i've been neglecting it. you know, like i do. with stuff.

tiger traps on the loose

here are the links to the 2 tiger trap pieces (drawing and toy) i did for the lift's multiple personality show last weekend if anyone is interested in them. there were a lot of great pieces in the show, so feel free to check those out, too.

tiger trap 2D

tiger trap 360

kick out the JMZ

not much to report around here. taking off to new york for a few days on friday. managed to do a couple of mix cd covers for a dude. a lot of music made before you were born. i'm so oooollllddd...ha, just kidding. but it is all older stuff. seems to be what i listen to nowadays. new metal. old music.

edit pockets

just dropped the price on the drawing to $50. you can still use the link i posted below or contact me through here.